Sexaholics Anonymous
by Countess Millarca
Summary: They say it takes twenty eight days to break an addiction. Sesshoumaru and Kagome decide to put Inuyasha under house arrest in order to help him overcome his sexual addiction. Will they manage to 'cure' him or will they be driven insane by his perverted antics?


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to the respective parties.**

**Day 1**

"Don't you dare touch my porn, asshole! No way in hell I'm letting you throw out my prized collection!" Inuyasha hollered while protectively clutching as many magazines and DVDs he could carry.

"You must understand we are not doing this to spite you, little brother. Father has threatened to disinherit you if you continue to act in such a debauched manner. You are disgracing our family with your lewd behavior in public and private places," Sesshoumaru attempted to explain logically.

"We only wish to help you, Inuyasha," Kagome added with a small smile reassuringly.

"You still ain't touching my porn!"

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 2**

"Where do you think you are going, brother? You are forbidden from exiting the house until your filthy addiction has ended," Sesshoumaru chastised his half sibling sternly.

"Someone's at the door, bastard. I was only going to let them in. You make me sound like a mental escapee," Inuyasha replied grudgingly; though, a small smirk crept up his face when Sesshoumaru proceeded to open the door.

"Ready to have a wild night, stud?" a scantily clad woman asked huskily, cupping the daiyoukai's assets.

"Inuyasha…" Sesshoumaru rumbled menacingly, trying to disengage himself from the brazen woman's clutches.

"I already paid her."

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 3**

"What…_is _that noise?" Kagome wondered dazed, her mind still heavy with sleep. She dragged her body out of bed in search of the strange sounds only to freeze outside the bathroom.

"Aaaahhhh….fuck yeah…just like that, baby!"

"No, it can't be…" she whispered, shocked when she recognized to whom the hoarse voice belonged.

"Inuyasha!" she screeched, nearly demolishing the door as she barged in. Her gaze widened when she caught the hanyou, with his pants down, whacking off alone. The woman she expected to see was nowhere in sight, but her favorite panties were wrapped around his face like a mask.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 4**

"Inuyasha, remove yourself from my mate this instant before I make it so you can no longer perform those vile fantasies of yours," Sesshoumaru ordered in a low growl, his pale features strained with rage.

"Seriously, how far up your ass is that stick? Listen to yourself talk, man! You can't even tell me to get my dick away from Kagome's ass or you'll cut it off and decorate your wall with it. _You_ need an intervention on how to become a normal person!" Inuyasha replied with a loud snort as he finally stopped trying to fake hump the miko.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 5**

"W-we really s-shouldn't…mnnn…" Kagome whispered, biting her lower lip to trap a deep moan.

"I have been denied the pleasures of your body for far too long," Sesshoumaru breathed against her slick skin, sucking on a pert nipple hungrily. Deft fingers played with her clitoris leisurely as he rubbed his hard cock against her inner thigh.

"This looks like fun! Got room for one more in there?" a gruff voice broke them out of their lust induced trance.

"That's it! _Nobody _has sex in this house from now on!" Kagome screamed exasperated as she tried to hide under the sheets.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 6**

"You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals!"

"Gah, I'm blinded!" Kagome shouted shell shocked, covering her eyes to protect her remaining sanity from the sight which greeted her. Unfortunately, the image of Inuyasha – wearing only a leopard print thong – dancing on the kitchen's table could _not _be erased that easily.

"So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts!" the hanyou sang loudly, running his hand up and down his crotch with a satisfied grin.

"YOU ARE NUTS!" the miko cried out hopelessly, running away from the nightmarish show.

"Yeah, feel my nuts, baby! WOO!"

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 7**

"I understand the grave importance of the matter, Father. Yes, I will try to resolve the issue as soon as possible," Sesshoumaru repeated for the tenth time this week after his father had called to inquire about his youngest son's addiction.

"You wish to speak with him? Inuyasha, you have a phone call," he called for his sibling in his usual apathetic tone, switching on speaker mode.

"Phone sex? So, what are you wearing?" Inuyasha asked in a low voice teasingly when he entered his brother's office.

"Is this how you are handling it, son!? Touga exclaimed in utter disbelief.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 8**

"You will stop defiling the cleaning equipment. Am I understood, brother?" Sesshoumaru commanded harshly, his elegant features marred with displeasure.

"You got rid of ALL my sex toys, asshole! Gimme back that mop! It's MY flogger now!" Inuyasha demanded fiercely, wrestling with the daiyoukai for the possession of the mop.

"Cease this foolish behavior. It is a mop, not a …" Sesshoumaru couldn't even finish the sentence.

"It's a flogger! Fine, you can keep it if you spank me! Come on, I know you wanna do it! Spank mah ass!" Inuyasha grinned like a madman, bending before his brother suggestively.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 9**

"Why do I have to watch this pathetic, sappy movie with you? Why can't you watch some porn like a normal couple for once?" Inuyasha complained sullenly after ten minutes into the romantic comedy Kagome had chosen for the evening.

"Eat your popcorn and stay silent, brother," Sesshoumaru replied with a warning undertone.

"Keh, fine! You want some, Kagome?" Inuyasha finally relented with a dejected sigh, motioning to the carton on his lap.

"Yeah, thank y-" Kagome began only to freeze midsentence when her hand unexpectedly wrapped around soft flesh, concealed inside the carton.

"HENTAI!" she screamed, slapping him repeatedly.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 10**

"Look, I promise to tone it down, okay? Just lemme go!" Inuyasha pleaded with Sesshoumaru on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"Your words cannot be trusted. We will follow through with the twenty eight days rehabilitation program," Sesshoumaru insisted with a shake of his head.

"You're not getting any as long as I'm here, too! Think of all you're missing; Atten-Hut, Bent Spoon, Launch Pad, Prison Guard, Amazon Reversed! Your balls must be blue by now!" Inuyasha argued passionately.

"The state of my testicles is irrelevant to your confinement!" Sesshoumaru all but growled, clearly affected by the touchy subject.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 11**

"Big daddy needs some rubbing, ladies! Don't be shy, it's a free buffet tonight!" Inuyasha yelled excitedly, running stark naked through the garden.

"Sesshoumaru!" Kagome screamed, mortified when she heard the ruckus outside.

"Come back inside, Inuyasha. I do not know how you escaped, but you will be severely reprimanded for your indiscretion," the daiyoukai commanded in a deadly rumble.

"Suck my cock, asshole! I ain't going back to no-fuck-land! No fucking way!" Inuyasha hollered, giving him the finger.

"Mama, mama, look! There is a naked man! I can see his willy!" a childish voice giggled from the neighboring yard.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 12**

"I missed you, Saaanngooo…" Inuyasha purred shamelessly, rubbing himself all over the dark haired woman.

"What did you feed him? Catnip? Special K?" Sango asked with an amused chuckle as she petted the hanyou's ears – not shocked in the least.

"Are you fine with him acting like that, Sango-chan?" Kagome asked with a quizzical frown when her friend didn't push the overly affectionate man away.

"Nah, Miroku acts like this all the damn time. I'm immune to it by now," Sango explained shrugging, the hanyou still humping up her leg.

"Then can you take him with you when you leave!?"

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 13**

"Did you bring me what I asked for?" Inuyasha whispered eagerly after he managed to have a moment alone with Miroku.

"I did, but may I ask _why_ you need numbing lube?" the dark haired man nodded with a perplexed expression, giving him the small bottle.

"Payback, man! That bastard needs a fucking lesson for messing with my sex life! Let's see how he likes numbing lube in his toothpaste!" Inuyasha cackled evilly.

"Remind me never to anger you, my friend. Your revenge may sound like a childish prank but effective nonetheless," Miroku shivered in sympathy for Sesshoumaru's impending doom.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 14**

"Don't you think we are being too cruel to him?" Kagome asked with uncertainty.

"It is for his own good. If he cannot control his carnal urges then we must do so for him," Sesshoumaru replied in a chillingly cold voice.

"Are you _still_ mad over that toothpaste prank? Get over it!" she scolded him, trying to make him reconsider this absurd plan.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! GET THIS THING OFF ME!" a loud scream interrupted their conversation.

"Get the shock collar off of his penis right now!" Kagome demanded as she covered her ears to drown the hanyou's pained whimpers.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 15**

_We are very sorry to hear of your illness, Taishou-sama. We will re-arrange your business meetings accordingly. We all pray for your quick recovery._

_Sincerely,_

_Your secretary and Taishou Inc staff_

_P.S. We all appreciate you taking time off. I hear syphilis can be transmitted through touch at later stages._

Sesshoumaru stared at his laptop screen for a few seconds unable to register what he was reading. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he typed back an appropriate reply, hoping the false news did not reach his father's ears inadvertently.

"We ought to have _him_ checked for STDs soon though."

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 16**

"You are forbidden from touching any technological equipment in this house," Sesshoumaru ordered, his left eyebrow twitching in irritation.

"EVER AGAIN!" Kagome hollered from the living room while removing white stains from the television after she was done cleaning the laptop.

"I am also installing parental control in case you decide to disobey this order as you are prone to do unfortunately," Sesshoumaru informed him through narrowed eyes.

"Pfft…feel free to install whatever shit you want. I can still jerk off to that pretty news anchor lady. She's fucking HOT! Especially when she talks about politics bullshit!" Inuyasha smirked unrepentant.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 17**

"Swear to never again expose your private parts to Takahashi-san through the window – while claiming to be her dead husband – and I will return one of your sex toys," Sesshoumaru propositioned after having spent an hour trying to calm the elderly lady, explaining that her husband is not a perverted ghost.

"The old bitch needed the reminder that even a withered vagina can still have fun! But, you've got yourself a deal! Come to papa, my preeeccciousss…" Inuyasha lisped with adoration.

'Enjoy the modifications,' Sesshoumaru thought with vice, having replaced the hair on the blowup doll's vagina with porcupine quills.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 18**

"Have you seen the berries I bought for my pie? I remember buying them with the rest of the ingredients, but I can't seem to find them now," Kagome asked, looking everywhere for the small round fruits.

"I have no doubt a certain glutton is the reason for their disappearance," the daiyoukai commented with a glare towards the hanyou.

"I didn't eat your stinkin' berries!" Inuyasha snorted, turning to leave.

"I never claimed you ate them," Sesshoumaru returned, pointing towards the trail of fruit gliding down the hanyou's pants as he walked.

"Eww…" the miko heaved with a disgusted expression.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 19**

"_YES! There…please…I-I need…"_

"_Ses-shoum-maru…mnn…harder! MORE!"_

"What the hell is this!?" Kagome screeched.

"I recorded you my first night here. Couldn't get a cam in there, but you did cum many times," Inuyasha snickered at his bad pun.

"You made a sex tape of us!?" she asked in disbelief.

"You threw out my porn! What was I supposed to do? Plus, dad cut my allowance! I need cash to buy new equipment when this farce is over!" he shrugged without a care.

"You sell this online!?"

"You won't believe how many people wanna hear how the bastard fucks," Inuyasha confessed amused.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 20**

"Seriously? _How_ did you manage to get your penis stuck in the vacuum!?" Kagome shook her head after she caught Inuyasha – hiding in the cleaning supplies closet – getting it on with said vacuum.

"It's _your_ damn fault! Buy a vacuum that can fit this monster I've got here!" Inuyasha yelled, panting from the effort to pull his member out.

"It will be my first and foremost thought when I buy the next vacuum. I refuse to continue using this one after knowing where it's been," the miko replied dryly, shutting the door in his face.

"Wait! Help me out, wench!"

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 21**

"Stop toying with your food, brother," Sesshoumaru chastised his half sibling.

"You should try it sometime, asshole. I bet you'll admit the food tastes better when you lick it off of your fingers like this. Chicken and women need fingering," the hanyou shot back while sticking his tongue inside a half eaten chicken thigh in a lewd manner.

"You are vulgar beyond measure. Cease this inappropriate behavior or you will go without nourishment for two days," the daiyoukai warned with distaste plainly evident on his features.

The hanyou's reply was flicking his tongue between his forefinger and middle finger obscenely.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 22**

"Forest Hump!" Inuyasha shouted, shaking his fist triumphantly.

"It's Forest Gump, but you guessed correctly," Kagome replied annoyed. The dog eared hanyou had managed to turn an innocent game of pantomime into porn movies parody titles.

"Take your clothes off and it won't be much of a difference," Inuyasha suggested with a sly smirk.

"You're an incorrigible pervert," she sighed, rolling her eyes at him.

"Alright, my turn!" he yelled excited.

"This time it better _not_ be Throbbin' Hood or Lust of the Mohicans or The Sexorcist!" she threatened him with a vicious glare.

"You enjoyed the show, admit it!"

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 23**

"What do you expect to accomplish by locking him in an empty room for the next five days? I am sure his addiction will not be magically 'cured' by this, Sesshoumaru," Kagome explained the fault in his logic.

"Do you have a better solution then?" the daiyoukai returned stoically as they made their way to the hanyou's room.

"No, but w-" Kagome began only to stop at the sight which greeted her.

"Whaddya think? I'm no fucking Picasso, but your boring beige walls look awesome now, don't they?" Inuyasha asked with a huge grin, pointing towards the semen sprayed walls.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 24**

"What in Kami's name are you doing, brother?" Sesshoumaru exclaimed when he marched into his bedroom and caught Inuyasha playing with a dildo.

"Fuck off, asshole! I'm busy!" the hanyou hollered without even stopping.

"I confiscated all of your perverse toys. Where did you get this? And why are you performing such a vile act in _my_ bedroom?" Sesshoumaru asked with disgust coating his tone.

"Ask your mate. I found this in _her_ drawer," Inuyasha replied, dismissing him.

"You take looong business trips. What was I supposed to do?" Kagome mumbled, embarrassed when the daiyoukai demanded an explanation later on.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 25**

"What are you doing, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked when the hanyou placed a mat beside her own in the middle of her daily yoga exercises.

"You do your thing and I'll do mine, woman," Inuyasha replied, assuming a standing position with his knees set apart and slightly bent. He then proceeded to move his pelvis up and down slowly while inhaling and exhaling softly.

"What exactly _are _you doing?" Kagome asked once again.

"Tantra yoga. Wanna try it with me? I bet your tantra points are shut tighter than a jar," the hanyou deigned to finally gift her with an explanation.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 26**

"I swear I'll freaking zap your precious jewels back to the Sengoku Jidai if you keep this up!" Kagome warned seriously, her hands aglow with purifying energy.

"Then help me bring it DOWN! You can zap me to hell, but touch me _please_! I just wanna bury my dick in your tits! Lemme lick your sweet honey! Just rubbing it between your ass cheeks will do! The asshole will never know!" the silver haired hanyou mumbled incoherently before grabbing her hand and rocking himself against it.

"You asked for it!" the miko yelled, frying him without a sliver of remorse.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 27**

"You have preeeetty haaaaair…" Inuyasha drawled, inching towards his brother with a predatory smirk.

"Have you gone mad, Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru asked, his golden eyes watching the hanyou's approach carefully.

"Come on, man. I just wanna touch it for a little bit, ya know. Maybe wrap it around my cock. I bet it would feel niiiice…" Inuyasha mused aloud, thick lust coating his tone before he made a lunge for the daiyoukai.

"Come to your senses, _brother_!" Sesshoumaru exclaimed alarmed, his deep baritone showing signs of panic for the first time in years.

"Yeah, I wanna cuuummm, please let me cum!"

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Day 28**

"I'm trying to understand you here, Inuyasha. Why are you so fixated on sex?" Kagome asked with curiosity, opting to try the psychoanalysis approach.

"What's there _not _to like about sex, woman? It's the ultimate high! Having a wet pussy riding your dick like the world is ending…man…I fucking miss that!" Inuyasha groaned as he thrust his hips against the couch's arm, mimicking different sex positions.

"Stop that!" she hissed angrily.

"Take it, bitch, Yeah, scream my name! Damn, you're soooo tight, Maariiiikaaaa!" he panted deliriously.

"Why is the imbecile calling my mother's name?" Sesshoumaru asked with a disturbed expression.

**Word Count: 100**

* * *

**Epilogue**

"I still can't believe Inuyasha was obsessed with your _mother_ and ended up like that! He basically became a man-whore because he wanted to be 'experienced' enough to satisfy her!" Kagome summarized the ridiculous sex addiction affair.

"Could we please _never _mention this travesty again? Mother is more than capable of handling a misbehaving whelp like Inuyasha. I am certain his insalubrious obsession will end in due time under her care," Sesshoumaru remarked tiredly.

"You might be surprised…" Kagome chuckled, amused when she recalled how the female inuyoukai's eyes had lighted in mischief as she escorted Inuyasha to her car.

**Word Count: 100**

**A/N: I blame most of my male friends for this. Special thanks to Lyra and Mare for providing ideas on a couple drabbles. **


End file.
